Forget Perfect

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Welcome to The Brighter Side of Everything.

This newsletter serves a simple purpose → To help you build optimism, resilience and a solution-focused perspective.

Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize life’s opportunities.

Read time: 12-15 minutes.

• Forget Perfect - The real path to liking (and loving) who you are.

• Bright Reads - Quick links to fun or insightful articles.

• Tunde Wey - Stirring the pot of justice and belonging.

• Worth a Follow - Big Think - Your front-row seat to global ideas.

• A Bright Idea to Consider - Grace, in adult friendships.

• A Previous Post - Overcoming self-doubt.

• Positively Hilarious - Smile like you mean it.

• Daily Gratitude Journal - Transform your daily routine through reflection.

Hello, Brighter Side readers! ☀️

So lovely to see so many new subscribers this week, welcome!

I’m excited to have you here, thanks for joining this optimistic community.

This week, we talk about the freedom that comes with letting go of perfection.

Because the real path to liking (and even loving) who you are is a lot messier (and more rewarding) than you might think.

We meet Tunde Wey, a chef whose bold approach to food is stirring up meaningful conversations about equity and inclusion.

Plus, a bright idea for buidling adult friendships from a foundation of grace rather than pressure.

Let’s dive in!

See you on the Brighter Side,

Chris

P.S. Please feel free to send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.

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If I asked you right now, “How’s your relationship with yourself?”

Could you answer honestly?

Not a breezy “I’m fine” but the raw answer you’d whisper if nobody else could hear.

Because, let’s be real, the relationship with yourself is the one partnership that never leaves your side.

Through turbulence and sunrises.

Triumphs and tough goodbyes.

You’re the single person you never leave behind.

Taking care of that relationship?

It might be the ultimate act of self-care.

How I Got Here

I’ve always been a people-watcher.

Whether I’m sipping a cappuccino in an airport, catching conversations in a lively café, or watching my kids tumble into the waves on holiday.

My curiosity kicks in.

Why do we rush?

What’s really under the surface?

That fascination is partially what nudged me into studying Behavioural Science, wanting to decode the invisible forces steering our choices.

It didn’t just teach me about others, though.

It became my guide for understanding myself.

Learning the “why” beneath my actions changed both how I communicate and how I lead.

The biggest change though?

How I talk to myself on good days and bad.

Just last weekend, sprawled on the sand with my kids splashing nearby, I caught myself people-watching as usual.

It hit me again.

Everyone is living their own, private story.

But only you have the front-row seat to yours.

Your thoughts, memories, fears and dreams.

And since you’re your only constant companion, learning to enjoy your own company doesn’t just help.

It’s everything.

You Are Your Own Lifelong Travel Companion

You really are.

Through every new city, lazy afternoon, wild adventure or mundane Tuesday.

No matter who joins or leaves your journey, you’re always there.

With a front row seat for life’s surprises and setbacks.

That’s why your relationship with yourself means so much.

You bring every hope and hang-up along for the ride.

Be kind and supportive, and the journey, both good and challenging, feels lighter, more meaningful.

And more fun.

Life Is a Series of Goodbyes

One mindset shift changed everything for me.

Understanding that life is a series of goodbyes.

Some people visit for a single page, others for a whole chapter and some for the entire book.

The magic happens when you embrace this.

Instead of clinging or fearing loss, you savour what you have.

You know, what’s right in front of your face.

You become more grateful for every lesson, every laugh and every presence in your life.

Because through it all, you are there for every page and chapter.

Cherish that relationship and you’ll always have a sense of home.

Oddly enough, I found that when I started appreciating this fact and was truly present with people.

My relationships grew so much deeper and more connections have become lasting chapters.

It’s a lesson I am so grateful to have learned at a young age and one that I feel compelled to share with you.

Lessons Learned Through My Journey

• There’s always more beneath the surface
  Whether someone’s hurrying through an airport or lacking patience in traffic, actions are powered by hidden needs or worries. Notice these patterns in yourself and the world gets softer, more curious.

• You see the world your way - that’s powerful
  Nobody else will ever collect your exact mix of moments, memories and meaning. Be your own best advocate. Just don’t be that person who thinks their way is always the right way, that’s ignorant and naive.

• Self-Awareness is worth more than perfection
  Growth starts by noticing, not fixing. The more kindness you show toward your own quirks and triggers, the more joy and authentic connections you’ll find.

• Resilience begins with your inner voice
  Whether guiding a team through chaos or facing my own crossroads, I’ve learned: the gentler my self-talk, the faster I recover. Compassion always starts at home.

• How you treat yourself sets the standard
  The way you value and speak to yourself creates every other relationship’s template. Set the bar high. Then stick to it.

That’s great Chris, but how can I make this happen?

What Works (and What You Can Try Today)

• Tiny habits = Daily self-affirmation
  Start small. Things like making a healthy lunch, stretching properly or reading for pure joy, send the message: “I matter.” Try pausing today and ask yourself, “Is this act a love note or a complaint to myself?”

• Cheerlead, don’t criticise
  When mistakes happen, talk to yourself as you would a friend: “That was tough, but I’m learning and I’ll try again.”

• Embrace humility, ditch the scorecard
  Stop the endless comparisons. Remind yourself: “I’m not better, not less - I’m just me.” There’s deep relief in that.

• Progress beats perfection
  Celebrate every effort, not just flawless results. The “good enough” moments are where joy and self-esteem live.

• Find meaning in little moments
  Joy doesn’t need to come from a job title. It can be found in so many places. In hobbies, side projects, volunteering, or even people-watching on a lazy afternoon. Let what lifts you, lead you.

• Boundaries = Self-respect
  “No” isn’t rude. It’s essential. Protect your time and energy to give your best where it counts. Is a friend who doesn’t respect boundaries really a friend? Short answer is no.

• Celebrate even the smallest win
  Did you speak up when you wouldn’t usually? Did you make a positive habit stick? Acknowledge it. Small wins compound and build confidence.

Whenever that inner critic pipes up.

Or you catch yourself slipping into old patterns of self-sabotage.

It’s easy to get frustrated or to judge yourself for not being “better” by now.

But as psychologist Dr. Tori Olds points out in the video shared further below, the key isn’t to fight or silence that critical voice.

Instead, she encourages us to get curious.

What is this part of me trying to protect?

Usually, it’s our harshest self-judgments formed long ago, acting in a way to keep us safe from disappointment or pain.

By meeting our inner critic with understanding and compassion, rather than shame or resistance, we create space for those old patterns to soften.

Over time, this self-inquiry approach makes lasting change possible.

Helping us build kindness toward every part of ourselves.

Especially the ones that need it most.

My Takeaway

Others may stick with you for a page, a chapter, or even the whole book.

But you’re with yourself for every twist, every sunrise and every turning point.

This knowledge brings mental freedom.

When you savour those beside you today and cherish your own company all along, you’re never really lost.

So, my here’s my challenge for you.

Pick one practice above and add it to your story today.

Maybe it’s setting a gentler boundary, or becoming more aware of the narrative you repeat to yourself.

Because the most rewarding relationship you’ll ever have the chance to develop is your own.

Because in the end, the most rewarding relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.

Your lifelong travel companion.

Celebrate who you are.

Savour every messy, beautiful moment.

And trust that wherever life leads you, you’ll always be in the best possible company.

Your own.

If this week’s topic resonated with you, I encourage you to check out the following video that dispels some popular myths regarding self-compassion:

• Can your brain run out of memory?

• How people around the world say, Hello!

• Where does the term ‘The Birds and The Bees’ come from?

• Top 25 countries with the highest life expectancy.

• What is effective communication?

Some people change their lives.

Others change the whole room they walk into.

This week, I want us to gather around the table with Tunde Wey.

He’s a Nigerian-American chef, writer and social instigator who’s proving that food can be a force for optimism and radical change.

He’s not just preparing meals.

He’s dishing up hard truths and honest solutions about equity, hope and what it means to really belong.

If you’re a fan of conversations that challenge as much as they nourish, Tunde is absolutely someone to know.

From Lagos to the Heart of Change

Wey’s journey starts in Lagos, Nigeria, where food was never just food.

It was culture and community, served with a side of deep awareness.

When he moved to the U.S., he brought this spirit with him, but also quickly realised that “breaking bread” here often meant something very different.

It could be about access, wealth and exclusion.

Or about who’s welcome at the table and who’s not.

So, he started reimagining the table itself.

Tunde began hosting pop-up dinners across the country, but with a sharp, unexpected twist.

At these events, diners don’t just choose from a menu.

They’re asked to engage with inequalities.

One dinner might charge white guests more than black guests.

Another might assign prices based on income.

The goal?

Start talking.

Start thinking.

Start feeling what equity might taste like, literally.

Most chefs share recipes.

Tunde shares questions.

Food, Fairness and Tough Love

What makes Tunde’s work special isn’t shock value.

It’s intention.

He has this remarkable ability to combine critical commentary with humour, honesty, and most importantly, hope.

He knows that to move forward, we need more than awareness.

We need imagination, connection and a serious dose of courage.

Through his “Race in America” series and installations in places like Detroit and New Orleans, he turned the act of dining into a shared reckoning.

His menus come with stories.

His presence sparks dialogue.

And his dishes?

They don’t just feed you.

They make you question what it means to be full.

Tunde is also a beautiful writer.

His essays blend insight and wit, taking his message beyond the plate to wherever we’re willing to listen.

And his ethos is clear.

True belonging doesn’t mean making space at an already flawed table.

It means rebuilding the table in partnership.

With justice, inclusion and agency as the key ingredients.

Why Tunde’s Story Feels So Right for Right Now

Division is all around us in 2025.

Politics, race, climate, resources and technology continue to create rifts in society.

As we grapple with these challenges, the need for dialogue, understanding and collaboration becomes more crucial than ever.

Whether we like it or not, differences can lead to conflict.

Encouraging open communication and understanding is crucial to bringing people closer together and overcoming these differences.

By actively listening to alternate perspectives and working together towards common goals, we can address the complex issues we face as a global community.

Over dinner, Tunde is carving out a new path.

One centred on truth, fairness and shared humanity.

And he’s doing it without losing humour, hope, or that ever-present belief that change is possible at the most human level.

What he serves may be confronting, but it’s never cruel.

He isn’t here to shame.

He’s here to invite us inside.

Tunde’s brand of optimism isn’t about avoiding discomfort, it’s about using discomfort as fuel for action.

Real belonging, he has shown, starts with being brave enough to stay the course in challenging conversations and generous enough to keep pulling up chairs at the table.

Lessons from Tunde Way

• Change starts at home (and at the table). We don't have to fix it all to start the conversation, we just have to be present. And listen.

• Creativity can be activism. Tunde uses food and imagination to spotlight injustice and invite community. He adds perspective and considers different viewpoints.

• Hope involves action. He reminds us transformation begins when we move from thoughtfulness to practice, even when it’s uncomfortable.

• The table can be a mirror. What we talk about over food reflects what we value.  Tunde encourages us to examine this reflection closely and then improve it.

My Takeaway

I have to admit, prior to last week I had never heard of Tunde Wey.

Researching his story invites us all to rethink what it means to gather.

To eat together.

To listen and to lean into the tough stuff with courage and compassion.

His work is a reminder that hope isn’t found in avoiding discomfort.

But in sitting with it, chewing slowly and staying at the table long enough to understand each other.

He challenges us to imagine a more beautiful way forward, where food isn’t just about nourishment, but about justice.

Where creativity becomes its own form of protest and progress.

And where we stop waiting for systems to change and start changing the culture around us, one plate (and one honest conversation) at a time.

This is what the brighter side looks like in real life.

Bold questions, unexpected joy and people like Tunde turning the ordinary into something deeply extraordinary.

Reminding us of the beauty and complexity in everyday life.

So, who would you invite to your table for a conversation about hope, equity and what we’re really hungry for in this world?

Who’s ready to cook something better, together?

Stay with that question a little longer.

Because that’s where the good stuff happens.

Want to hear more about Tunde’s restaurants? Check out this video:

Imagine having the world’s sharpest minds and thought leaders just a click away.

Ready to tackle your biggest questions and spark new ideas.

That’s Big Think, a YouTube channel that’s been standing out since 2007 with expert-driven & actionable conversations across every discipline you can imagine.

Whether you’re curious about leadership, science, creativity, or even the mechanics of happiness, Big Think is an on-demand pass to the minds shaping our world.

Why It’s Worth Your Time

Big Think is widely recognised as a go-to source for high-quality, accessible wisdom from global experts.

With over 8 million subscribers and thousands of videos, it brings you insights from luminaries like Neil deGrasse Tyson, Michio Kaku and many more.

Ranging from five-minute bursts of wisdom to in-depth explorations.

Their content isn’t purely educational.

It’s created to make you think, grow and act on new ideas.

As a channel, it consistently delivers knowledge you can use.

Not just trivia to collect.

What Makes It Stand Out

Instead of getting lost in a sea of quick opinions and viral hot takes, Big Think curates focused conversations with real experts.

Experts who are shaping the future of their fields.

These segments aren’t shallow.

They’re smart, thoughtful and respect your intelligence while remaining approachable.

With a good mix of rapid-fire lessons and deep dives, you decide how much wisdom you want to snack on or soak up.

And thanks to a wide range of disciplines, you’re always likely to stumble on something new and relevant.

Everything from philosophy to neuroscience to the art of creative risk-taking.

Practical Lessons

Here’s why making Big Think part of your routine can level up your thinking:

• Fuel your curiosity: With constantly fresh content, your brain always gets something new to chew on.

• Learn from the best: Get straight-up advice and insights from actual leaders and trailblazers, not just internet personalities.

• Expand your perspective: Challenge your assumptions and open the door to new ways of seeing the world.

• Walk away with practical advice: Most videos wrap up with ideas or frameworks you can use immediately. No fluff.

• Accessible learning: No jargon overload. Just clear, compelling explanations that make even the tough topics inviting.

My Takeaway

Big Think is more than a fact factory.

It’s a conversation starter that shifts how you think and approach challenges.

Watching an episode can spark the same “aha!” feeling as a breakthrough chat with a great mentor.

It’s where learning feels like a two-way conversation, not a stale lecture.

The channel is a reminder that some of our best growth happens when we open our minds to new ideas.

Directly from those who are pushing boundaries worldwide.

Have you checked out Big Think?

Got a favourite episode or expert who changed your perspective?

To give you a little taste, here’s one of my favourite videos:

Got a recommendation?

Please share; I'm always keen for great suggestions.

The Lesson

If you’re like me, you know life can get hectic.

Between work deadlines, family commitments, personal growth and self-care, friendships often quietly shift to the background.

That’s okay.

Because adult friendships require something special: grace.

I love the honesty in this gentle reminder I saw recently:

Don’t mistake less communication for less love.

Check in, not out.

Go Deeper

Friendships evolve as life unfolds.

The way we connect changes, but the bond remains (if it’s true).

Sometimes we go days, weeks, or even months without much contact.

Not because the affection has faded, but because we’re navigating our own paths.

Healing takes time.

Growth demands focus.

Self-care requires space.

This can feel lonely or confusing, especially if you’re longing for connection.

But the truth is, adult friendships thrive on understanding and patience.

Not on constant texts or daily catch-ups.

They’re not about keeping score, but about knowing that when the time is right, you’ll pick up right where you left off.

When we embrace that grace, giving ourselves and our friends permission to be human, imperfect, and busy, it creates a safer, more meaningful friendship space.

It’s a space free of guilt or pressure.

Where love can quietly deepen.

Research has shown that strong social connections aren’t just good for the heart, they’re good for your whole health.

Studies indicate that people with close friendships have lower levels of stress, less anxiety and depression, stronger immune systems and even a longer lifespan.

Investing in and nurturing friendships isn’t just emotionally fulfilling.

It’s a genuine boost to your well-being.

Practical Steps

Here’s how to nurture grace in your friendships without feeling overwhelmed:

• Reach Out Thoughtfully: A simple message like “Just thinking of you” or sharing a funny memory can brighten someone’s day without expectations.

• Be Present in Small Ways: Sometimes a quick reaction to a social media post or a shared playlist is a way to keep the connection alive.

• Practice Compassion for Yourself and Others: Recognise when you need space, and trust that true friends will understand and wait.

• Create Mini Rituals: Maybe agree on a monthly check-in call or a casual coffee date when schedules allow something consistent but flexible.

• Listen for When Friends Do Reach Out: Respond warmly, even if it’s after a long pause, to reinforce that the relationship is still valued.

• Celebrate the Quiet Strength: Appreciate the friendships that don’t need constant maintenance because they’re grounded in trust.

My Takeaway

What I’ve come to learn is that adult friendships aren’t about perfect communication.

They’re about mutual grace.

Some of my deepest relationships have weathered silent storms and busy seasons, yet always come back to life with ease.

There’s freedom in letting go of the pressure to always “keep up” or “perform” in friendships.

Instead, focusing on trust, patience and periodic check-ins makes the connection stronger and less stressful.

So if there’s someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to but worried it’s been too long, consider this your sign.

A small note or a brief chat can remind both of you that the love and care are still there.

Sometimes quietly, but always real.

Who could use your grace (and your check-in) today?

Chances are, it’ll mean more than you know.

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