Can You Change Your Personality?

In partnership with

Welcome to The Brighter Side of Everything.

This newsletter serves a simple purpose → To help you build optimism, resilience and a solution-focused perspective.

Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize life’s opportunities.

Read time: 12-15 minutes.

Bright Side in Brief

What’s covered this week?

• Can You Change Your Personality? - Why it’s more like a garden than a statue.

• Bright Reads - Quick links to fun or insightful articles.

• Kami Rita - Reaching new heights.

• Bookmarks - Quiet by Susan Cain.

• A Bright Idea to Consider - How much you learn.

• A Previous Post - Some people seem to ‘have it all”.

• Positively Hilarious - Smile like you mean it.

• Daily Gratitude Journal - Transform your daily routine through reflection.

Hello, Brighter Side readers! ☀️

Welcome to our new subscribers and thank you to our growing community of readers.

Your support and engagement (I love reading your emails) inspire me to keep delivering interesting content that informs, entertains and connects us all.

This week, we’re diving into a cool idea.

Can you change your personality?

Spoiler.

It’s more like gardening than carving stone.

We’re constantly growing, shifting and surprising ourselves.

If you’ve ever wondered how you got from that awkward younger version of you to who you are now, or who you might become next, this one’s for you.

And to keep the inspiration rolling, we explore the story of the man who recently smashed the record for the most climbs of Mt. Everest.

Talk about pushing limits and showing what’s possible when you refuse to quit.

So grab your coffee, get comfy and let’s jump in.

See you on the Brighter Side,

Chris

P.S. Please feel free to send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.

Brought to you by: Nautilus

Science Stories You Can’t Get Anywhere Else

Feed your curiosity with Nautilus — a science newsletter for thinkers, seekers, and the endlessly curious. Each week, we bring you beautifully written stories at the intersection of science, philosophy, and culture. From the physics of time to the psychology of awe, our essays, interviews, and ideas dive beneath the surface and linger in the mind.

Join a global community of readers who believe that big questions deserve thoughtful answers. Whether you're a lifelong learner or just love a good mystery of the universe, Nautilus will challenge how you see the world — and maybe even yourself.

Sign up now and start thinking deeper.

Sign up today

Can You Change Your Personality?

Why it’s more like a garden than a statue.

Ever look back at your younger self and think, “Who was that person?”

Maybe you laugh at old photos.

Cringe at a memory or marvel at how much you’ve grown.

If you’ve ever thought you’re stuck with the same personality traits forever, you’re not alone.

But what if I told you science, and my own experience show that personality is far more flexible than we think?

You’re not a statue, you’re a garden.

Capable of blooming in new directions at any age.

If that surprises you, keep reading.

The Myth of the Fixed Personality

For years, we believed personality was set in stone by early adulthood.

Like eye colour or height.

It was something you were born with and couldn’t alter much but research now paints a different picture.

Personality traits can and do shift over time.

Sometimes slowly, sometimes dramatically.

For example, studies indicate that we tend to become more conscientious and agreeable as we age, while neuroticism often declines.

And here’s a surprising fact.

Research has also revealed that people who set out to intentionally change aspects of their personality, like becoming more outgoing or less anxious.

Actually succeed.

With measurable shifts showing up in as little as a few months.

You’re not just the sum of your habits.

You’re the sum of your intentions and actions, too.

So, if you’ve ever told yourself, “That’s just the way I am.”

Science is gently nudging you to reconsider.

Snapshot: Can You Really Change?

• Meta-analyses of thousands of participants show personality traits are both stable and changeable across the lifespan.

• Setting a goal to change a trait, like becoming more extroverted, makes you up to three times more likely to see real change over a few months.

• Interventions and intentional efforts (like practicing new behaviours) produce even more substantial changes than just hoping for the best.

• Life events, like new jobs or relationships, nudge your personality, but your choices and mindset matter just as much.

Proof That Change Happens

Let me share a personal example.

With a degree in Behavioural Science, I’ve always been fascinated by human behaviour.

Throughout my leadership career, I’ve taken countless personality and leadership assessments.

I was inspired by a recent conversation to retake the Gallup Clifton Strengths assessment.

Unlike traditional personality tests, Clifton Strengths focuses on discovering what you naturally do best.

Then, developing those talents into strengths and using personalised insights to increase your potential.

One thing struck me most.

How much my top strengths have shifted over the past 12 years.

Previously, my strengths pointed to ambition, consistency, and discipline.

Today, my top five were as follows:

1. Self-Assurance – Confidence and trust in my decisions.

2. Learner – A hunger for new knowledge and fresh approaches.

3. Relator – A focus on authenticity and deep connections.

4. Empathy – Anticipating and responding to others’ needs.

5. Input – Resourcefulness and curiosity, especially in times of change.

This shift makes perfect sense to me.

I know I’ve become more curious and self-assured over time.

It’s proof that personality and strengths evolve.

Reflecting who we are becoming, not just who we once were.

Honestly, I’m proud of this change.

It’s a reminder that we’re all works in progress and that’s a good thing.

Why Do Our Personalities Change?

What causes these changes?

Life, mostly.

Significant events like career moves, relationships, parenthood and loss can nudge us in new directions.

You know, those realisations of what is essential.

And what is not.

But change isn’t just reactive, intentional growth plays a huge role.

Recent research shows that people who actively work on traits they want to develop, whether through practice, feedback or new experiences, can transform their personality over time.

It’s like tending a garden.

Sometimes you prune old habits.

Sometimes you plant new seeds.

With a bit of intention and care, you can watch new qualities bloom.

But growth isn’t something we do alone.

I am immensely grateful to have been married to my wife for 15 years.

A journey with many chapters, challenges and joys.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, a long-term relationship is less about staying the same and more about growing together.

By embracing change as a natural part of life and making communication a daily practice, you can ensure that you don’t just grow older together.

But grow closer, too.

The goal isn’t to remain the same people you were when you first met.

It’s to continually rediscover and fall in love with the evolving versions of each other.

How Can You Encourage Positive Change?

If you want to shape your evolution, here are some practical tips:

• Stay Curious: Revisit old assessments or try new ones. They’re snapshots, not sentences.

• Be Honest with Yourself: The only way you can truly grow and evolve is by being honest with yourself about your strengths, weaknesses, and areas that need improvement.

• Focus on Strengths: Build on what you do best. When you develop your unique talents, growth feels natural and rewarding.

• Reflect Regularly: Notice how your values and behaviours shift. Journaling or feedback will reveal surprising insights.

• Embrace New Challenges: Stepping outside your comfort zone sparks growth.

• Celebrate Progress: Growth isn’t always loud. Be proud of subtle shifts.

My Takeaway

Next time someone says, “That’s just the way I am.”

Maybe gently remind them (and yourself).

You’re a work in progress.

We all are.

Realising you’re not stuck with the same traits forever is liberating.

You can become more confident.

More empathetic.

Or more curious.

Simply by choosing to develop those qualities.

Your personality isn’t a prison sentence.

It’s a garden.

Sometimes wild, sometimes well-tended but always capable of new growth.

Whether you’re 18 or 80, you have the power to shape who you become.

So, what’s one small change you’ll try this week?

Get curious.

Take another look at your strengths.

Ask yourself what’s changed and what you want to change next.

Because you’re not finished yet.

And that’s the best news of all.

Explore how your personality is both unique and flexible in Brian Little’s 15 minute TED Talk:

Bright Reads

Interesting insights to ignite your inner optimist.

• Scientists have figured out why flamingos are such weird eaters.

• The Milky Way photographer of the year.

• An “Aha!” moment when solving a puzzle “almost doubles” your memory.

• What is Gangnam Style?

• Why your brain won't shut up at night (and the simple way to shush it).

Kami Rita

Reaching New Heights

Many of us dream of one day climbing Mount Everest.

Standing at the top of the world.

Looking out over the clouds.

Feeling that amazing sense of accomplishment.

Picture this: you’re up there, the air so thin that every breath feels like a win.

All around, snow-capped peaks poke through a sea of clouds.

The sky seems close enough to touch.

It’s quiet, except for the wind and for a moment, you really are on top of the world.

What makes Kami Rita Sherpa’s story so incredible is that he hasn’t just done this once.

He’s done it 31 times.

That’s right.

31 times standing at the very summit of Everest.

It’s a record that’s hard to comprehend and a reminder of what sheer determination and love for the mountains can achieve.

The World Above the Clouds

Mount Everest is a place most of us only dream about.

At 8,848 meters (over 29,000 feet), it’s a frozen, wind-blasted world where just walking takes everything you’ve got.

For most people, reaching the top once is a bucket-list achievement.

For Kami Rita, it’s become almost routine.

But don’t let that fool you.

There’s nothing easy about what he does.

Every climb is a battle against the elements.

Avalanches, wild weather, deep crevasses and that ever-present lack of oxygen.

Even for someone as experienced as Kami, every trip up the mountain is a test of grit, strength and nerves.

A Life Built in the Mountains

Kami Rita grew up in a small Sherpa village in Nepal, right in the shadow of Everest.

For the Sherpa people, these mountains are more than scenery.

They’re a way of life and a source of pride.

His dad was a mountain guide, his brother too, so it’s no surprise Kami started working as a porter at just 12 years old.

Hauling heavy loads up those steep, icy trails.

By age 24, he’d reached the summit of Everest for the first time.

He hasn’t stopped since.

I have great respect for Sherpas and their incredible work ethic.

While I have yet to visit Nepal, it reminds me of when I hiked the Inca Trail in 2007.

The porters there, just like the Sherpas in Nepal, were up before dawn, making breakfast and making sure everyone was comfortable.

Then, they’d pack up all the gear, load it on their backs and catch up to us on the trail, get to the next camp ahead of us, and have everything set up before we even arrived.

Every single day.

Their strength and dedication blew me away.

They always had a wide smile stretched across their face.

Their spirit and resilience is unmatched.

More Than Just a Number

It’s easy to get caught up in the numbers.

31 summits is wild.

But what’s even more impressive is Kami Rita’s attitude.

He doesn’t see himself as a celebrity or a record-breaker.

For him, guiding climbers is a job he’s proud of and it helps support his family and his community.

Let’s not forget, Sherpas like Kami Rita are the backbone of every Everest expedition.

They’re the ones fixing ropes, setting up camps, carrying supplies, and often making the difference between success and failure for climbers worldwide.

Imagine reaching the top for the 31st time.

For Kami Rita, that moment is still special.

Every summit is a win.

Not just over the mountain, but over doubt, exhaustion and fear.

There were no big speeches for Kami, just a quiet smile and a look at the view.

Then he’s right back to helping others get down safely.

Lessons From Kami Rita

What can we take away from Kami Rita’s incredible journey?

• Perseverance pays off. Success isn’t always about one huge moment. Sometimes, it’s about showing up, again and again, no matter how tough things get.

• Stay humble. Even when you’re the best in the world at what you do, there’s a lot to be said for staying grounded and remembering your roots.

• Support matters. Behind every big achievement is a network of family, friends and community

• Lead by example. Kami Rita doesn’t just talk about hard work. He lives it, every single day.

• Dreams are for everyone. Whether you’re climbing mountains or just facing a tough week, you have the power to keep going. To reach higher and to inspire others along the way.

My Takeaway

Kami’s story is a reminder that greatness doesn’t have to be loud or flashy.

Sometimes, it’s about quiet determination and the courage to keep climbing.

Even when you’ve already reached the top.

More than anything though, his journey shows the power of consistency.

It’s not just one big effort that gets you to the summit.

It’s showing up again and again, year after year, step after step.

That steady, reliable commitment is what leads to extraordinary achievements.

So whatever your “Everest” is, ask yourself:

What’s the next step you can take?

Like Kami Rita, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, stay consistent and don’t be afraid to reach for the sky.

If you have three minutes, here is a recent video showcasing his latest achievement:

Your best practice starts with accepting insurance

When looking for a mental health provider, over half of patients want one who takes their insurance.

Headway helps you do it with ease. Get credentialed, secure better rates with top plans, and earn a steadier income with bi-weekly payments.

It's all on one free-to-use platform, no commitment required.

Join our network for free

Bookmarks

Quiet

by Susan Cain

Ever feel like you’re stuck between two worlds?

Loving social time but secretly craving some quiet time to recharge?

That’s me.

An extroverted introvert.

Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking is a decisive nod to that juggling act.

This book isn’t just about introverts, though.

It’s a reminder that embracing your introverted nature can unlock potential and offer unique perspectives.

Some that are often overlooked in a world that values extroversion.

Why It’s Worth a Read

Cain points out how much our culture favours extroverts.

The loud, outgoing, always-on types and how that can make introverts feel like they have to “perform” or change just to fit in.

But she flips the script and shows why introverts have their own powers.

Deep thinking, careful listening and laser focus on what matters.

One idea that really hit home for me was the “pseudo-extrovert” concept.

That’s people like me who can flip on the extrovert switch when needed.

Think of it like turning on your social mode.

But then need to retreat to a quiet recharge station before the battery totally drains.

It’s like having two personalities in one.

Figuring out how to balance them is key.

Cain also talks about how introverts can thrive when their environments respect their needs.

Whether that’s at work, with friends, or at home.

It’s a call to rethink how we value different ways of being and to make space for all kinds of energy.

Now, full disclosure.

While the book’s overall message is excellent, some of the science and claims don’t quite hold up.

For example, Cain suggests introverts are more creative or smarter than extroverts.

Not true.

This claim isn’t really backed up by solid research.

So, take those bits with a pinch of salt.

But honestly, the core message about valuing all personality types and honouring your own needs?

That is pure gold.

What We Can Learn

• Pay Attention to Your Energy: When feeling drained, it's okay to step back and take a breather. For me, that means sometimes choosing to recharge.

• Speak Up About Your Needs: Let people know when you need quiet time. It’s not that you shut them out, you take care of yourself to be your best self.

• Find Your Recharge Rituals: Whether it’s a walk, a good book, or just chilling with a cup of tea, find what helps you reset. For me, it’s music and time with the kiddos.

• Lean Into Your Strengths: Introverts tend to be great listeners and deep thinkers. Find ways to use those powers in your work and relationships.

My Takeaway

Reading Quiet felt like a big, comforting hug for my introverted side.

One part that stuck with me was when Cain talked about how introverts often need a moment to process things internally before jumping into a conversation.

That explains why I sometimes need to hit pause before speaking up.

It reminded me that you don’t have to be the loudest person in the room to make a difference.

The biggest lesson, though?

Balance isn’t about forcing yourself to be one thing or another.

It’s about honouring all parts of yourself and creating a life that works with your natural rhythms.

If you’ve ever felt out of sync in a noisy world.

Or you just want to understand yourself (or the introverts around you) better.

This book is a thoughtful and supportive read.

Got a recommendation?

Please share; I'm always keen for great suggestions.

A Bright Idea to Consider

How Much You Learn

The Lesson

Ever notice that life’s most unforgettable lessons don’t come from textbooks or lectures, but from rolling up your sleeves and getting a little messy?

Don’t get me wrong.

Soaking up good ideas is a fantastic place to begin.

But here’s the truth: you can read all the advice in the world, but if you don’t put it into practice, you’re missing out on the real opportunity.

The biggest leaps in learning don’t happen by staying safe in theory.

They happen when you take what you know, try it out in your own life and aren’t afraid to stumble a little along the way.

Practice brings knowledge to life.

And mistakes?

That’s where the magic is.

Every time you try something new and it doesn’t go as planned, you’re actually building wisdom you can’t get from any book.

Those moments when things don’t work out are the ones that stick with us.

They shape us.

And help us grow stronger and more resilient.

So yes, reading this newsletter is a great start and I’m glad you’re here.

But the real growth happens when you take what resonates, put it into action and allow yourself to learn.

Even if it means making a few mistakes along the way.

Practical Tips for Turning Ideas Into Growth

• Pick One Thing to Try:
  After you finish reading, choose one idea or tip that stands out. Commit to putting it into practice this week.

• Reflect on What Happens:
  Jot down what worked, what didn’t and what surprised you. Every experience is a lesson in disguise.

• Share Your Journey:
  Talk about your experiments with a friend or even reply to this newsletter. Sharing helps you process and encourages others.

• Embrace Imperfection:
  If things don’t go perfectly, that’s okay! Mistakes are proof you’re taking action and moving forward.

• Celebrate Your Effort:
  Give yourself credit for trying. Every small step is progress and every lesson learned is a win.

My Takeaway

Here’s what I believe: wisdom isn’t just about knowing more.

It’s about doing more with what you know.

You’re already ahead by being curious and open to new ideas.

But the real transformation happens when you’re brave enough to put those ideas into action.

Even if you don’t get it right the first time.

Mistakes aren’t setbacks, they’re stepping stones.

Every time you try, adjust, and try again, you’re building a life that’s richer, more resilient, and uniquely your own.

So keep reading, keep learning, but most importantly, keep doing.

That’s where the good stuff lives.

If you’ve put something from this newsletter into practice and learned from it—success or stumble—I’d love to hear your story.

Maybe this week, pick one area of your life where you want to grow, and take that first imperfect step. Let’s keep cheering each other on as we turn good ideas into even better lives.

A previous post …

Positively Hilarious

A quick laugh as we part ways this week.

Daily Gratitude Journal

Transform your daily routine with my specially crafted gratitude journal.

Start (or end) each day with a moment of reflection and positivity.

As you develop daily your gratitude, you're also helping grant wishes to children facing critical illnesses.

It's a powerful cycle of hope and optimism.

🌟 What's Inside:

• Thoughtful prompts to inspire daily gratitude.

• Space for personal reflections and affirmations.

• Beautifully designed pages to make each entry a delightful experience.

Ready to embrace the power of gratitude?

Click here to order a copy now!

Recommended Newsletters:

Let’s stay connected.

New to this newsletter? - Subscribe for free and join the Brighter Side!

Follow on Threads & Instagram (coming soon) for daily insights from the Brighter Side.

Follow on Medium for longer form content - @TheBSofE

Follow on X for daily insights from the Brighter Side - @TheBSofE