Building Social Wealth

Why you should prioritise close friendships.

Chris Alders
September 15, 2024

Welcome to The Brighter Side of Everything.

This newsletter serves a simple purpose → To help you build optimism, resilience and a solution-focused perspective.

Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize life’s opportunities.

Read time: 9-12 minutes.

Bright Side in Brief

What’s covered this week?

Building Social Wealth - Why you should prioritise close friendships.
Bright Reads - Quick links to fun or insightful articles
Two Decades of Silence - The strength of the human spirit
Bookmarks - Livewired by David Eagleman
A Bright Idea to Consider - Marie Forleo
A Previous Tweet - 5 things that WILL and WON’T help you
Positively Hilarious - Smile like you mean it.
Daily Gratitude Journal

Hi everyone,

I want to start by letting you know how much I appreciate you.

I’ve been blown away by the number of new subscribers over the last few weeks and am incredibly grateful for every one of you.

If you know others who could benefit from focusing their attention on optimism and employing a solution-focused approach - please forward this email, links to subscribe are further below.

Without a doubt, the greatest benefit of starting this newsletter has been the interaction with readers.

Hearing from old friends and making new connections has been such a rewarding experience.

Human connection is the greatest thing life has to offer, and I’m loving it.

So, thank you.

Alright, real talk alert!

Today, I wanted to address the most common question I've received since I started this journey:

"Why?"

Why would I walk away from my career and start again from scratch?

Firstly, I’m not starting from scratch.

I’m starting from experience.

At 46, I am more confident in my abilities and capacity to adapt than ever before.

Having poured my heart and soul into my work over the last 20+ years, I no longer want this to be where the majority of my energy is burned.

I no longer want to work passionately toward someone else’s dreams.

I want to work passionately toward my own.

That’s the basic answer.

But this question deserves a more thoughtful answer as it may help somebody else, so I figured I would share my reasons here over the next few weeks.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve read and thought about the concept of overall personal wealth and the components that make it up: time, social, financial, physical and mental.

Place too much emphasis on one and the others will suffer … and vice versa.

This concept is a key reason why I've shifted careers in my mid-40s.

It’s simple, my priorities have changed.

Over the next five weeks, I’ll touch on each of these and why they are all crucial pieces in the puzzle of personal wealth.

See you on the Brighter Side,

Chris

P.S. Send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.

Why you should prioritise close friendships.

Celebrating a win in New Orleans.

Human beings are social creatures.

As a result, your social life plays a crucial role when taking a holistic look at personal wealth.

It’s an area that I've always placed great emphasis on and I’m regularly reminded of why that’s a good thing.

I work hard to maintain my core friendships through regular catch-ups, ensuring we have something on the calendar and following through on plans as often as possible.

Following my mum's passing, the last couple of months have been tough, to say the very least.

A real lifeline has been having a core group of friends who were absolutely there for me when I needed it.

Not surface-level acquaintances, but people who truly care for me.

It has meant the world and is something I will be forever grateful for.

You know who you are.

In recent weeks, I've been part of two separate conversations that drove home the importance of these connections.

During the first, a friend commented on how tight-knit our group is and the positive impact it has on each of us.

True story, well observed.

The second conversation echoed this sentiment, with someone remarking on the strength of our friendships and how it's evident in the way we support and uplift each other.

These moments made me realise what I’ve always known, we're doing something right.

An often overlooked aspect of our productivity is that rest ethic is just as important as work ethic.

Think of your body as battery-operated.

You can't function properly if all you do is drain your battery.

You need to charge it regularly.

You deliver your best when your batteries are charged and your mind is clear.

Quality relationships that make you laugh, make you cry, make you think, make you sing etc, will do just that.

It's easy to get caught up in the pursuit of success, often at the expense of our most valuable relationships.

That's why my challenge to each of you is to make sure you have your priorities in check.

Priorities will vary throughout the different phases of your life but so will your reliance on a strong circle of friends.

If you overlook these connections in the short term, you’ll likely regret it in the longer term.

Last week, I watched a video that features a thought-provoking conversation between Simon Sinek and Trevor Noah.

They discussed that friendship isn't just a nice-to-have – it's a crucial part of our mental health, happiness and overall well-being.

If you have 25 minutes to spare (actually even if you don’t), I encourage you to watch it:

Why Friendship Matters More Than We Think

Life is at its best when shared with others.

Think about it.

When you have good news to share, who do you want to tell first?

When you're feeling down, who do you call?

It's your friends, right?

They're the ones who celebrate with you, cry with you and sometimes just sit in silence with you when that's what you need.

Sinek and Noah hit the nail on the head when they said friendship is like the ultimate "biohack" for our mental health.

It's true.

Good friends can help us deal with stress, fight off depression and even make us feel less anxious.

It's like having a superpower, but instead of flying, you've got people who in turn have your back.

Quality Over Quantity: The Inner Circle

I'm not talking about having thousands of Facebook friends here.

It's about that core group – your inner circle.

The people who get you.

Those that you can be yourself around without any judgment.

They're the ones who'll tell you when you've got food in your teeth, but also when you're being too hard on yourself.

Building this circle isn't about collecting people like Pokémon cards, it's about finding genuine connections.

You know, the friends who make you laugh until your sides hurt, who'll drop everything to help you move house, or who'll listen to you rant about your boss for the hundredth time.

Remember: It's a Two-Way Street

Here's where it gets tricky, though.

Good friendships don't just happen themselves.

They need effort and time, just like any other important relationship in your life.

You can't expect to have ride-or-die friends if you're always the one cancelling plans or forgetting to check-in.

So, how do we be better friends?

It's simple stuff, really:

Make time for them. Schedule it if you have to.
Show up when you say you will.
Listen – and I mean really listen – when they talk.
Celebrate their wins like they're your own.
Be there for the tough times, not just the fun times.
Be honest, even when it's hard.

The Professional Perks of Friendship

Have you ever though about how friendship can help your career?

Sounds weird, right?

But think about it.

When you've got a solid group of friends, you're more confident.

You've got people to bounce ideas off, to give you honest feedback, to cheer you on when you're doubting yourself.

Sinek and Noah touched on this too.

They pointed out how having strong friendships can actually make you better at your job.

Why do you think so many new business owners bring in their friends at the ground level?

It's like having your own personal cheer squad and advisory board rolled into one.

You just have to be certain they are a quality friend which can take some time.

Leading by Example

For all you leaders out there, this one is on you.

If you want your team to be happier and more productive, show them it's okay to prioritise friendships.

This is where the lines get muddy and an area that society can do a much better job of promoting.

Be open about leaving early for a friend's birthday or taking a long lunch to catch up with an old buddy.

When you do this yourself, you're sending a powerful message: life isn't all about work, and that's okay.

The result isn’t an unfocused workforce, the result is a more balanced, engaged and motivated team.

If you can’t see that, I’m sorry - you shouldn't be leading people.

Making Friendship a Priority

So, how do we actually make friendship a priority in our lives?

Here are some ideas that I've employed over the years:

Schedule regular catch-ups, even if it's just a quick coffee.
Plan trips together – nothing bonds people like shared experiences.
Use technology to stay in touch. A quick text or funny meme can go a long way.
Be present when you're with your friends. Put the phone away and engage.
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Share your struggles as well as your successes.
Remember important dates and celebrate them.
If you think it, do it! Send a message or call when you think it because thoughts are fleeting.
Don't put so much weight on quick replies. People have lives, so give them space to get back to you.

The Ripple Effect of Good Friendships

Here's the cool thing about focusing on friendship: it doesn't just make your life better; it improves the lives of those around you too.

The right circle will create the right you.

When you're happier and more supported, you're more likely to spread that positivity to others.

It's like a ripple effect of good vibes.

If your friends are lifting you and want what’s best for you, that’s the sweet spot.

If they don’t, are they really friends at all?

So, choose wisely.

It’s a choice and that choice will compound over time.

Also, there are no rules as to who your friends can be.

They don’t have to have known you the longest, they don’t have to be your age and they don’t have to share your background or interests.

Friends can come from all walks of life and sometimes the most unexpected connections can turn into the strongest bonds.

Whether they’re colleagues, neighbours, or even someone you met during a chance encounter, friendships can blossom in the most surprising ways.

What truly matters is the quality of the connection you share, the support you provide each other and that you complement each other's lives positively.

Don’t force friendships; that approach rarely works and purely leads to frustration.

Instead, be open and present for new opportunities to connect.

The world has never been more interconnected and meaningful relationships can flourish from any corner of the globe … if you allow them to.

Wrapping It Up

When we look back on our lives, it's not the extra hours at the office we remember.

It's the laughs shared over dinner, the heart-to-hearts during tough times and the inside jokes that make no sense to anyone else.

So, let's make friendship a priority.

It's not just nice to have; it's essential for our happiness, our health and our success.

Life's too short to go it alone and it's so much more fun when shared with good friends.

Remember, building and maintaining friendships takes effort, but it's worth it.

Lastly, if this is an area you struggle with, feel free to book some time in my calendar.

I’m happy to walk you through this in more detail.

Feel we are aligned? Reach out and let’s connect, I’ll always find room in my circle for quality people.

So … which friend are you thinking about right now?

Give them a call.

Trust me, your future self will thank you.

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything."

– Muhammad Ali

Bright Reads

Interesting insights to ignite your inner optimist.

101 random facts that will blow your mind.
Where the time goes with age.
How does the brain think?
What your personality says about your dementia risk.
Does your boss practice toxic positivity?

Two Decades of Silence

The Strength of the Human Spirit

Can you imagine waking up after two decades of silence?

For Sarah Scantlin, this unimaginable reality became her life.

In 1984, at just 18 years old, her life changed forever when she was struck by a drunk driver, causing severe brain injuries that left her in a minimally conscious state.

For two decades, Sarah lived in a nursing home.

Her family and friends visited her regularly, feeling helpless as they watched her in silence.

Doctors had told them that she was gone, that the daughter they once knew was lost forever.

But her family never gave up hope, believing that her spirit was still present.

Then, in early 2005, something miraculous happened.

Sarah began to speak.

One day, her brother Jim received a call that changed everything. “It’s Sarah,” she said.

Jim was stunned.

After years of silence, she was back.

Her awakening was a turning point. Sarah could also respond to questions and quite incredibly, recall memories from her past.

For her family and friends, the sadness they had felt transformed into joy. They could finally communicate with her again, proving that hope can flourish even in the darkest of times.

Sarah’s personality shone through.

She greeted visitors with a big smile and a cheerful “Hi!”

She loved music and movies, often singing along to her favourite songs.

Her ability to remember details from her past amazed everyone, reminding them that resilience can lead to remarkable transformations.

Despite the challenges she faced, Sarah’s spirit remained strong.

She continued to live at the facility, where she received exceptional care throughout her time there.

The staff and volunteers became her second family, providing love and support throughout her journey. Their unwavering belief in her potential was a testament to the power of hope.

"Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic."

– Laini Taylor

Sarah’s story raises important questions about consciousness and recovery.

Medical experts believe she was in a minimally conscious state, which means she had some awareness despite her inability to communicate.

Her case challenges the idea of giving up on patients too soon and reminds us that every individual has the potential for recovery.

Though Sarah faced physical limitations, her determination to connect with the world around her was inspiring.

She showed that even after years of silence, it’s possible to find your voice again.

Her story shows how resilience and hope can lead to extraordinary outcomes, encouraging us all to keep fighting, even when the odds seem insurmountable.

Sadly, Sarah Scantlin passed away on May 20, 2016, just two weeks after her 50th birthday.

Her legacy lives on as a symbol of hope and resilience.

She taught us that the human spirit can triumph over adversity, and that love and support can make all the difference.

Practical Strategies Inspired by Sarah

Sarah’s story offers valuable lessons for anyone facing challenges.

Here are some practical strategies to keep in mind:

Focus on Solutions: Instead of getting stuck on problems, look for ways to overcome them. This mindset opens up new possibilities.
Celebrate Small Wins: Keep a journal to document progress and celebrate even the smallest achievements. Every step forward counts!
Reflect on Past Successes: Remind yourself of challenges you have overcome before. This will boost confidence and belief in your abilities.
Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and encourage you.
Maintain Hope: Remember that setbacks are temporary. Keeping a hopeful outlook can help you stay resilient and focused on recovery.

Final Thoughts

Sarah’s journey offers several great reminders:

Never Give Up: Hope can thrive even in the darkest circumstances. Miracles can happen when we least expect them.
The Power of Connection: Human connection is vital for healing and resilience. Support from loved ones makes all the difference.
Celebrate Every Victory: Every small achievement is a step toward recovery. Recognising progress builds motivation.
Believe in Potential: Everyone has the capacity for recovery and transformation. Never underestimate the power of the human spirit.

Sarah inspires us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and a positive mindset, reminding us that we can emerge stronger on the other side.

The power of hope can never be underestimated; it will light the way even in the darkest moments.

Bookmarks

Livewired: The Inside Story of the Ever-Changing Brain

by David Eagleman

Image from Amazon.com

Overview

The human brain is remarkable.

It’s likely mother nature’s most complex creation.

In a recent send, I touched on the concept of neuroplasticity - the brain's ability to change and adapt.

David Eagleman's Livewired takes this idea even further, exploring our brain’s extraordinary adaptability.

Eagleman, a renowned neuroscientist, combines cutting-edge research with engaging stories, making complex concepts easy to read.

He boldly claims, "The greatest technology we have ever discovered on our planet is the three-pound organ carried in the vault of the skull."

This sentiment underscores the book's focus on the brain's unparalleled complexity and capability.

He introduces the concept of "livewiring," which expands on neuroplasticity.

It describes the brain's remarkable ability to continuously reconfigure itself in response to new experiences and challenges.

This perspective provides a deeper understanding of how our brains evolve throughout our lives, going beyond what we typically associate with neuroplasticity.

Key Insights:

Adaptive Potential: Building on the foundations of neuroplasticity, Eagleman illustrates how the brain's flexibility enables us to overcome significant obstacles, such as learning to perceive through alternative senses or controlling robotic limbs with our thoughts.
The Power of Experience: The book emphasises that our interactions with the world actively shape our neural pathways, highlighting the importance of diverse experiences in brain development - a key aspect of neuroplasticity in action.
Technological Implications: Eagleman explores how understanding "livewiring" and advanced neuroplasticity could revolutionise fields like artificial intelligence and sensory augmentation.

My Takeaway:

What resonated with me most in Livewired is how well it expands on neuroplasticity.

Eagleman's insights suggest that we have even greater control over our mental faculties than previously thought.

He reinforces this idea by saying, "Neuroplasticity is not just a concept; it is a fundamental principle of how our brains operate, allowing us to learn, adapt, and evolve throughout our lives."

The exploration of topics like synesthesia (a condition where one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second pathway - like seeing colours when hearing music) and dreaming invites you to reconsider your own perceptual experiences in a new light, through the lens of our brain's adaptability.

While some neuroscience concepts may be challenging for those unfamiliar with the field, Eagleman's clear and engaging writing style (and relatable examples) makes even the most complex ideas understandable.

Reading Livewired opens up fresh perspectives on cognitive potential and the future of human-technology interaction, building on what we know about neuroplasticity.

It's a great read for anyone interested in the incredible capabilities of your brain and how you can put its adaptability to use.

Got a recommendation?

Please share; I'm always keen to learn from great suggestions.

A Bright Idea to Consider

Lessons from the Brightest Thinkers.

Clarity comes from engagement, not thought. 💗
— Marie Forleo (@marieforleo)
2:57 PM • May 14, 2020

This simple yet powerful statement challenges the common belief that you need to think your way through confusion or indecision.

Instead, Forleo suggests that true clarity emerges when you actively engage with your challenges, rather than just contemplating them.

Consider these aspects:

Action breeds clarity: When you take steps, even small ones, you gain real-world feedback that helps you understand your situation better.
Overthinking can lead to paralysis: Excessive rumination often results in anxiety and inaction, keeping you stuck in a loop of indecision.
Experience is the best teacher: Engaging with your problems provides practical insights that mere thinking cannot match.
Momentum creates motivation: Taking action, regardless of how small, will build momentum and boost your confidence to tackle bigger challenges.
Engagement reveals hidden opportunities: By actively participating in your life (rather than letting it happen TO you), you will discover options or solutions you hadn't considered previously.

Lesson:

When faced with uncertainty or a lack of direction, resist the urge to endlessly analyse.

Instead, take a small step forward.

Engage with your challenge, try something new, or start a conversation.

The act of doing will often illuminate the path forward more clearly than hours of contemplation ever could.

Overthinking is a bit like a rocking chair, it might give you something to do but it won’t get you anywhere.

Action is the key to clarity - keep moving forward and let your journey unfold.

A previous tweet …

5 things that won’t help you:
1. Trying to please everyone.
2. Fearing change.
3. Living in the past.
4. Putting yourself down.
5. Overthinking.
5 things that will help you:
1.  Practicing self care.
2. Embracing change.
3. Living in the present.
4. Cultivating self… x.com/i/web/status/1…
— Chris | The Brighter Side of Everything (@thebsofe)
8:57 PM • Nov 15, 2023