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Welcome to The Brighter Side of Everything.
This newsletter serves a simple purpose → To help you build optimism, resilience and a solution-focused perspective.
Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize it’s opportunities.
Read time: 10-12 minutes.
Bright Side in Brief
What’s covered this week?
Be Curious, Not Judgemental - Why seeing beyond our assumptions matters.
Bright Reads - Quick links to fun or insightful articles.
How to not take things personally? - Frederik Imbo.
Elevated Viewing - Ted Lasso: A masterclass in compassionate leadership.
A Bright Idea to Consider - Richard Feynman.
Positively Hilarious - Smile like you mean it.
Daily Gratitude Journal - Transform your daily routine through reflection.
Hello Brighter Side readers! ☀️
A few weeks back I came across an Indian proverb: "The first impression is not always the right one."
This saying is a great reminder that our initial thoughts about people or situations can often be off the mark.
It encourages us to be careful with our judgments and to remember that what we see at first glance might not tell the whole story.
People are complex.
It often takes time for their true selves to be fully revealed.
Factors like mood, context and personal experiences shape how someone comes across in a particular moment.
In many cultures, there’s a strong emphasis on understanding each person’s unique background.
Inviting us to dig deeper and appreciate the depth of everyone’s story.
When you keep an open mind, you develop stronger connections and grow more meaningful relationships.
Whether in your personal life or at work, holding off on quick judgments allows you to learn from others and avoid misunderstandings.
So, this week, we’re digging into this wisdom and how you can be more curious and less judgmental in your daily life.
See you on the Brighter Side,
Chris
P.S. Send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.
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Be Curious, Not Judgemental
Why seeing beyond our assumptions matters
When you take a second to stop and think about it …
Judging others on instinct is a pretty lazy approach, and it causes way more harm and misunderstanding than it prevents.
When you make snap judgments without having the full story or lacking essential information, you’re merely making assumptions.
In contrast, curiosity drives us to ask genuine questions that help fill those knowledge gaps with real information.
This deeper understanding allows you to make more informed judgments, often delivered with a softer tone, thanks to a newfound perspective on the situation or the person involved.
Consider the many individuals who might shout obscenities at someone who is out of shape but making the effort to exercise at the gym or go for a run.
These individuals should attract support, not criticism.
They’re taking a brave step toward improvement, a step that should be celebrated.
It can be challenging to see the beauty and opportunity that exist in every situation through a positive lens, but with practice, you can make it a strength.
Once you adopt this perspective, you’ll want to wear these lenses for life.
It’s a shift that not only benefits your health and mood but also grows your relationships.
This philosophy resonates deeply with the leadership style of Ted Lasso, the beloved character from the Apple TV+ series.
It was this series that inspired me to write about this, and you’ll also see the show featured later in this newsletter.
By exploring Lasso's leadership and interpersonal relationships, you can draw valuable lessons on how curiosity can transform your outlook, while also acknowledging the role of judgment in our lives.
The Power of Curiosity
Curiosity is a powerful (and underappreciated) tool that opens the doors to understanding and connection.
When you show real interest in others and want to learn from them, you make it easier for good conversations to happen.
Ted Lasso embodies this principle through his unwavering positivity and empathy.
He leads his team not just by instructing them, but by actively listening and valuing their input, regardless of their position.
That’s right, regardless of their position.
The Benefits of Being Curious
Enhanced Understanding: Curiosity allows you to see beyond surface-level judgments. By asking questions and seeking to understand others' perspectives, you develop a deeper connection.
Improved Mental Health: Engaging with curiosity can alleviate anxiety and depression. When you focus on exploring rather than judging, you shift your mindset from negativity to possibility.
Stronger Relationships: Curiosity builds rapport. It shows others that you care about their experiences and opinions and leads to more meaningful interactions.
Practical Applications of Curiosity
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of making assumptions, encourage conversation by asking questions like, “What was your experience like?” or “How did that make you feel?”
Practice Active Listening: You should be all over this one after last week. Pay full attention when others speak. Then reflect on what they say before responding to demonstrate that you value their thoughts.
Embrace Vulnerability: Like Ted Lasso, be willing to share your uncertainties and invite others to do the same. This openness grows trust and connection.
The Role of Judgment
While curiosity is essential for growth, judgment also plays a significant role in our interactions.
Judgment helps us navigate complex social dynamics by allowing us to assess situations quickly.
However, when you use it incorrectly, it leads to misunderstandings, strained relationships and even harm.
The Negative Impact of Misguided Judgment
Creating Division: Hasty judgments drive division among individuals or groups. When you label others without understanding their context or experiences, you build barriers rather than bridges.
Stifling Growth: Excessive judgment, especially self-judgment, hinders personal growth. When you’re overly critical of yourself or others, it leads to feelings of inadequacy and discourages risk-taking. This results in fewer opportunities.
Encouraging Worry: A judgmental mindset can contribute to anxiety and stress since it often involves worrying about how you or others are perceived. This creates an environment where you feel you must constantly defend yourself instead of being authentic.
Benefits of Being Judgemental (When Balanced)
Despite its potential pitfalls, judgment does have its place when applied thoughtfully:
Critical Thinking: Judging situations allows you to make informed decisions based on your values and experiences.
Setting Boundaries: Healthy judgment helps you determine what behaviours are acceptable in your relationships, protecting your well-being.
Self-Reflection: Judging yourself leads to growth when it prompts you to evaluate your actions and beliefs critically and take positive action to correct them.
Practical Applications of Judgment
Reflect Before Reacting: Take a moment to assess your feelings before jumping to conclusions about other people or situations.
Seek Balance: Use judgment as a tool for self-protection while remaining open-minded about others’ experiences.
Practice Self-Compassion: Recognise that everyone makes mistakes, including you. This understanding helps reduce being too hard on yourself.
Curiosity in Leadership
Ted Lasso’s leadership style is a masterclass in balancing curiosity and judgment.
He shows how being curious makes someone a better leader and highlights the need to make sound decisions.
Ted’s approach is characterised by his genuine interest in his players’ lives beyond the game itself.
He often engages in conversations about their dreams, their fears and their struggles.
A great example is when he takes time to learn about Jamie Tartt's complicated relationship with his father.
This curiosity not only strengthens team bonds but also enhances individual performance as players feel supported both on the field and off.
Judgment in Leadership
Ted also understands the necessity of making tough decisions when needed.
He assesses situations critically.
Whether it’s choosing the strategy for a game or addressing conflicts within the team (like his handling of Roy Kent's temper).
His ability to judge when to be firm versus when to be compassionate is what makes him an effective leader.
Impact on Mental Health
The interplay between curiosity and judgment significantly influences our mental health.
Embracing curiosity leads to greater resilience against stressors by developing a mindset focused on growth rather than the fear of failure.
Conversely, excessive judgment, especially when pointed inward, can contribute to anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.
By adopting Ted Lasso’s philosophy of being curious rather than judgmental, we can encourage a healthier mental landscape:
Promote Positivity: Staying curious encourages optimism and reduces harmful negative self-talk.
Encourage Growth: Embracing challenges as opportunities to learn strengthens resilience.
Build Community: Curiosity builds stronger connections that offer essential support when you face challenging moments.
My Takeaway
When you prioritise curiosity, you develop understanding and connection.
All while still recognising the importance of balanced judgment in navigating life's complexities.
Next time you find yourself ready to judge someone or something, pause for a moment.
Remember Walt Whitman's timeless advice:
"Be curious, not judgmental."
This simple shift profoundly impacts not only your relationships but also your outlook on life because empathy, understanding and resilience will set you apart in an often chaotic world.
Keeping all of this in mind, let’s strive to create spaces where curiosity thrives.
Both within ourselves and during our interactions with others.
Just like Ted Lasso does every day on his journey through life and leadership.
Let’s make curiosity our default setting, because in the end, it’s the questions you ask that lead us to the most meaningful answers.
"Imagining what it is like to be someone other than yourself is at the core of our humanity."
Bright Reads
Interesting insights to ignite your inner optimist.
How to change your perception of time.
Retirement ages by country.
Chris Judge’s daily cloud interpretations.
Woman becomes the fastest to cycle the globe.
She's 74 and expecting: Wisdom the albatross astounds once again.
How not to take things personally
Frederik Imbo
Image sourced from thefarside.com
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
We've all experienced a moment where we hear a negative comment and instinctively connect it to our own circumstances, assuming it’s a reflection of us.
However, it’s important to remember that these hurtful or thoughtless remarks often reveal more about the person making them than they do about the person they target.
The old adage rings true: hurt people, hurt people.
Read that again.
Those who are struggling often lash out at others.
The most impactful way to counter such negativity is to take away their power.
What’s their power?
It’s your attention.
By recognising that their comments stem from their issues, you can learn not to internalise their words.
Instead, you can focus on growing your confidence and seeking the truth.
A few weeks back, I watched an inspiring TEDx talk by Frederik Imbo.
The helpful video explains this skill in a way that will help reduce stress, boost our confidence and also improve our relationships.
Understanding the Challenge
Imbo starts by sharing his journey as a football referee, a role that thrusts him into a world of criticism and scrutiny.
Imagine being in a position where everyone around you is quick to blame you for any perceived mistakes.
It’s the perfect training ground for learning not to take things personally and he’s the perfect person to speak from experience.
We’ve all been there.
Whether it’s feeling slighted by a friend's cancellation or interpreting a colleague's laughter as gossip about us.
These reactions stem from our ego, which often convinces us that we are at the centre of others' actions.
But what if you could shift your perspective?
Key Strategies to Shift Your Perspective
He introduces two essential strategies that can help us navigate personal interactions more effectively:
It’s Not About Me
The first encourages us to consider the other person’s perspective.
When someone seems distracted or critical, instead of jumping to conclusions about their intentions, ask yourself why they might be acting that way.
Maybe they’re preoccupied with their own issues.
Maybe they’re simply not engaged in the conversation.
By shifting from "me" to "we," you can develop understanding rather than irritation.
It Is About Me
If the first strategy doesn’t alleviate your feelings, it might be time for some self-reflection.
Imbo emphasises that taking things personally often reveals insecurities within ourselves.
For instance, if criticism stings, it may touch on deeper feelings of inadequacy rooted in our past.
Recognising this then allows us to respond with empathy towards ourselves and communicate our feelings openly without blame.
The Power of This Skill
Everything worth doing takes practice and if you can master these strategies, you’ll not only reduce stress but also grow your confidence.
You’ll become less reactive and more resilient.
Especially, in the face of criticism or misunderstanding.
This shift will lead to improved relationships, as you’re no longer caught in a cycle of defensiveness.
Imagine how liberating it feels to let go of the need to be right all the time.
Instead of engaging in battles over opinions or actions, you focus on building connections and positivity.
And that my friends, is a beautiful place to be.
Putting It Into Practice
So how do we start applying these concepts?
Here are some practical steps:
Pause Before Reacting: When you feel hurt or offended, take a moment to breathe and assess the situation.
Ask Questions: Instead of assuming negative intentions, inquire about the other person's perspective.
Reflect on Your Feelings: If something bothers you deeply, explore why it affects you so much.
Communicate Openly: Share your feelings with others without placing blame. This vulnerability can strengthen your connections.
My Takeaway
Building these strategies into your life will significantly enhance your outlook and relationships.
If you find 18 minutes to spare, this video is well worth a watch.
Imbo's final analogy is powerful and one that everyone should hear.
As he explains in his final story:
While people may criticise or dismiss you, your value remains intact regardless of their actions.
So … let’s challenge ourselves this week:
When faced with a potential offence, remember these strategies and see how they transform your interactions.
Let’s stop giving assholes a platform and show that their words are nothing more than empty noise that doesn't deserve our attention or validation.
Together, we can create a more understanding and empathetic world.
One conversation at a time.
"Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering."
For those keen to watch, here’s the video:
Elevated Viewing
Shows that Inspire and Uplift
Ted Lasso: A Masterclass in Compassionate Leadership
The first time I sat down to watch Ted Lasso, I thought I was diving head first into a light-hearted sports comedy.
And while it certainly delivers on the laughs, this show is much more than that.
It’s a fantastic mix of comedy and drama that will have you rolling on the floor one moment and your eyes tearing up the next.
It’s like a warm hug that tackles serious issues while still reminding us of the importance of kindness, optimism and genuine human connection.
Now, that’s my kind of message.
Key Highlights:
Unique Approach to Leadership
What sets Ted Lasso apart is his approach to leadership.
Ted, played by Jason Sudeikis, is an American football coach who ends up managing a struggling English soccer team.
At first, his lack of soccer knowledge seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
But as the series goes on, it becomes clear that Ted’s real strength lies in understanding people.
He leads with optimism and empathy, showcasing that true leadership isn’t about barking orders or demanding results.
It’s about lifting those around you.
It’s about understanding who people are and what motivates them.
In a landscape dominated by aggressive management styles, Ted’s approach stands out as a breath of fresh air.
He shows that being kind and supportive leads to amazing results.
If you are willing to do the work.
Anyone can be an asshole.
It takes far more strength to remain optimistic and inspire hope in others.
Ted teaches us that real leadership involves patience, understanding and a willingness to help others grow.
Flawed … but Trying to Be Better
A standout feature of the show is the exceptional character development.
Throughout the series, we see various characters dealing with personal issues and toxic behaviours.
The thing I love about it is that every character is "flawed but trying to be better."
This makes it feel real.
It creates a wholesome atmosphere where conflicts stem from personal growth rather than outright villainy.
It's something we can all connect with, reminding us that each of us is walking our own path to becoming better versions of ourselves.
In fact, it’s a wonderful reminder that we are all unique in our own way and simply doing the best we can.
When you understand and appreciate this, life somehow becomes simpler.
Ted Lasso doesn’t shy away from showing pain and heartache, right alongside humour, acknowledging that life can be tough and we all have our struggles.
A Wholesome Found Family
The interpersonal relationships in Ted Lasso are an absolute highlight.
It beautifully illustrates how a supportive environment can encourage growth and healing.
The characters form a found family dynamic that feels genuine and heartwarming.
What is a found family dynamic?
It’s when individuals come together to create strong familial bonds based on shared experiences and mutual support, despite not being related by blood.
Ted’s unwavering belief in his team encourages them to believe in themselves too, developing a culture of trust and collaboration.
Imagine if there were more leaders like Ted.
Those that are willing to listen, support and lift those around them.
I’ve worked with many leaders across my lifetime.
And some of them, I would have (and still would) run through a wall for.
The others, not so much.
Too many inflated egos that fail to understand what the role of a leader truly is.
Ted’s open-door policy and sincere approach to communication set an example for how we can all lead in our own lives.
It’s about starting a cycle of positivity that creates a ripple out into the world.
Humour Meets Heart
The writing in Ted Lasso strikes a perfect balance between humour and heartfelt moments.
The comedic elements are sharp and clever, making you laugh hard one moment and then pulling gently at your heartstrings the next.
This unique blend keeps you engaged throughout each episode.
Ted Lasso also manages to tackle serious issues without trivialising them.
Instead, it allows its characters to confront their struggles while always finding moments to laugh.
It’s an approach that makes it feel like a genuine reflection of life.
One where joy and sorrow coexist.
Real Leadership in Action
While the show is fictional, many successful football managers of today embody similar qualities in real life.
Modern coaches like Jürgen Klopp and Pep Guardiola prioritise empathy and connection with their players and are two of the most successful managers in the world.
Klopp, former manager of Liverpool FC, is a master of camaraderie with his infectious energy and belief in his team.
Guardiola has set the standard at Manchester City and creates an empowering environment where players feel valued while pushing them to excel.
Both coaches demonstrate that compassionate leadership can lead to incredible success.
Is it the harder path?
Yes, of course, but the effect on the team and their lives is profound.
Just like the results Ted achieves with his team at AFC Richmond.
Their stories remind us that real leadership isn’t about being domineering.
Looking back, leaders often ruled with an iron fist, using fear and control to manage their teams.
But today … it’s about inspiring others to be their best selves.
The most effective leaders know that creating a supportive environment is key.
This approach not only improves performance but also builds loyalty and resilience within their teams.
My Takeaway
In summary, Ted Lasso is so much more than a just feel-good comedy.
It’s an inspiring look at what leadership can be when it’s rooted in kindness and empathy.
It challenges traditional notions of success by showing that true fulfilment comes from lifting others and building meaningful connections.
As you watch this show, you’ll likely feel inspired to embody some of Ted's qualities in your own life.
Whether it's leading with positivity or simply being there for someone who needs support.
The world needs more Teds.
We all have the power to start the cycle ourselves by leading with compassion when we have the opportunity to do so.
So if you haven’t yet experienced Ted Lasso, get ready for a journey filled with laughter, tears and valuable lessons on leadership that will stick with you long after the credits roll.
“At first look, this series looks like it will be almost impossibly stupid and cliché ridden ... but as Ted Lasso points out repeatedly in his home-spun wisdom, the games they play on the grass don't mean a fraction compared to the lives of the people affected.”
Check out the official trailer below:
Got a recommendation?
Please share; I'm always keen to hear quality suggestions.
A Bright Idea to Consider
Lessons from the Brightest Thinkers
Richard Feynman
“The highest forms of understanding we can achieve are laughter and human compassion.”
Richard Feynman was a renowned theoretical physicist known for his work in quantum mechanics & particle physics.
You may recognise the name as a character from 2023’s summer hit ‘Oppenheimer’.
So … we can safely assume he was a smart guy (I’ll let this one assumption pass 😜)
He was well known for his engaging teaching style and with quotes like the one above, it’s easy to see why.
In this instance, Feynman highlights something truly special.
The best ways to understand life aren’t just through facts and figures but through laughter and compassion.
Why?
Becuase these two elements connect us in powerful ways.
Here’s what to think about:
Laughter Brings Us Together
Laughter is a universal language. It breaks down barriers and helps you bond with others. A shared laugh can lighten any mood and is a great reminder that we’re all in this together.
Compassion Builds Bridges
When you show compassion, you open your heart to others’ experiences. It allows you to connect on a deeper level, growing understanding and empathy.
Joy in Everyday Life
Finding humour in daily moments can transform your outlook. Whether it’s a funny meme or a silly moment with friends, embracing laughter helps you appreciate life more.
Learning Through Relationships
Our greatest lessons often come from our interactions with others. When you engage with people compassionately, you gain new insights and perspectives.
Create Positive Ripples
When we prioritise laughter and kindness, we not only uplift ourselves but also those around us. A simple act of kindness or a good laugh can spread positivity far and wide.
Final Thought
I can’t encourage you enough to embrace laughter and compassion as essential parts of your life.
They deepen our understanding and enhance our experiences.
You’ll never regret a day in your life when you fill them with laughter and compassion.
By doing so, you unlock deeper connections and the true essence of what it means to be human.
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
Positively Hilarious
A quick laugh as we part ways this week.
Daily Gratitude Journal
Transform your daily routine with my specially crafted gratitude journal. Start (or end) each day with a moment of reflection and positivity.
Thank you to all who have purchased a copy so far, I am truly grateful and for every journal sold, I will donate $1 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
This means that as you develop daily gratitude, you're also helping grant wishes to children facing critical illnesses.
It's a powerful cycle of hope and optimism.
🌟 What's Inside:
Thoughtful prompts to inspire daily gratitude.
Space for personal reflections and affirmations.
Beautifully designed pages to make each entry a delightful experience.
Ready to embrace the power of gratitude?
Click here to order a copy now!
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